COVI-DIVORCE TIPS (PART 2)
Updated: Oct 31, 2020
In my previous blog, I provided two (2) helpful tips to ensure survival with your spouse, or end it. Here are tips 3 and 4.
This tip can be incredibly helpful if followed correctly. If not, it can cause problems which can either delay, or frustrate any reasonable prospect of an amicable negotiated settlement.
You will inevitably feel overwhelmed and stressed at the thought of separation or divorce, especially if children are involved. You may feel harassed or bullied by your spouse to agree with their version of what constitutes a fair and reasonable settlement. NOTE: It is their version not yours.
My advice, is to resist at all costs, the desire to agree with your spouse. Even though such agreement may not be legally binding, your spouse will consider your agreement as a “sacred promise” not to be broken, regardless of your legal rights. This so-called promise will make any effort to negotiate an agreement based on your actual legal rights- a much more difficult exercise. Your best alternative is to advise your spouse that you have been told by your own lawyer, that you are not to discuss terms of settlement with them. I have been told by clients of mine that this has been a huge stress reliever. So, in fact in this instance, resistance is definitely NOT FUTILE.
Clients often ask me about mediation as a means to settle matters. As a certified family mediator myself, I believe mediation can be a valuable alternative to the court process, however, there remains certain misunderstandings about the process of mediation.
Firstly, mediators (whether or not lawyers) are intended to be neutral and impartial. This means their role is not to ensure your best legal intents are protected. That is a role for you, and your lawyer. (SEE TIP #2)
Secondly, before retaining a mediator, there are several steps which should be taken. Obtaining full disclosure from your spouse is essential. Next, in order to save time and money, only refer to mediation those matters which cannot otherwise be settled through negotiation.
With these 4 tips in hand, you are now better prepared to face the coming COVI-DIVORCE pandemic. My fifth and final tip-call me (Scott) @ 604.534.6361, when you need help.