Father’s Day Message

Let’s not forget the true message!

I write this on  Father’s Day, and I can’t stop thinking about all of those separated or divorced fathers who struggle valiantly to remain relevant in the lives of their children.

I’m especially remembering those dads who frequent family law offices like mine, fighting to become, or remain, every bit as active, and involved a parent, as the mothers of their children.

Over the past 20 years, has the family law systems moved away from the long-held conviction that mothers are more important to children than fathers, with access every other weekend being good enough?

Sure it has.

But the legal battles continue, draining the financial and emotional resources of both moms and dads.  Resources much better utilized jointly parenting children, rather than sustaining never- ending court proceedings.

I also remember the incredible efforts of past father activists, like the late Guy Tisdale who dedicated their lives to improving the family law system for fathers, all based on the premise that children without fathers suffer the negative consequences for the rest of their lives.

To be clear, not all separated or divorced fathers want to be involved as an equal parent in all aspects of their children’s lives.  It’s frustrating for both me and some moms when I tell them that there is no legal way to ensure that reluctant fathers will exercise regular and consistent access.

Hopefully those “missing in action” dads will figure it out before their children are grown.

But for those dads who make the commitment to sharing the parenting obligations, and responsibilities, along with mom, (Disney Dads need not apply), there should be no legal impediments put in their way.

This means, (and anyone who has read my newspaper columns/blogs over the past many years, knows all too well), that children need and deserve the equal involvement of two responsible, loving parents.

I can’t think of a better Father’s Day gift this day, or any other!